The Underlayment of Executive Presence

Underlayment provides core values and principles that give an idea stability, context and a better chance to succeed. It is an essential layer that makes the final presentation both functional and long-lasting.

Executive presence is a complex concept that requires an underlayment of emotional intelligence (“EQ”).

What exactly is executive presence? It is difficult to provide a precise definition because it is intangible. It is not unlike Justice Potter Stewart’s definition of ‘hard core pornography’, “I know it when I see it.”  Executive presence has a changing set of components as each individual carries their executive presence differently. Most often it is defined as that quality and stature that allows influential leadership combining such features as gravitas, communication, appearance and most importantly inspires trust, commands attention, and allows others to follow you.

We have been aware of the nature of executive presence for a long time. We have uncovered the importance of emotional intelligence only since the 1990’s.  While the reality of emotional intelligence has always existed, we had no codification for it. Emotionally Intelligence has always been the “secret” behind Executive Presence. Emotional Intelligence was initially a purely academic subject. Scholars from different fields studied this concept to better understand social organizations.

One of those early researchers, Daniel Goleman, introduced this field of study to the public through his book, Emotional Intelligence:

Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, published in 1995 by Bantam Books. It popularized the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ), arguing that self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills are crucial for success. While he has updated his work, developed workshops and workbooks with additional nuance, at the base of his research was an understanding of oneself. Many scholars and consultants using their own perspective updated Goleman’s initial theory via writing, speaking and consulting.  They all highlighted that the key aspect of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. I highlight here my finding that emotional intelligence is indeed a key link to executive presence.

Elements of Emotional Intelligence as initially presented by Goleman:

1.        Self-awareness

Recognizing feelings

2.         Self-regulation

Stifling impulsiveness

3.        Internal motivation

Using emotions to achieve goals

4.        Empathy

Attuned to others’ needs

5.        Social Skills

Managing emotions in others: What is the role of these traits and how can we develop them? And, most importantly, how can they shape our executive presence? The key take-away is that people with strong emotional intelligence tend to be more effective leaders.

Self-Awareness

When we discuss self-awareness, we must take a critical look at our emotions. Are they kept in control or are we acting out because of strong feelings? How do our emotional displays (e.g. calm, warm, anxious, angry) affect others? Are we quick to criticize and place blame? Do we pause, breathe and check how we actually feel about any given situation? Do we understand the value of humor and use it appropriately (not at another’s expense)?

How does being self-aware help our executive presence?

1. We are seen as stable and dependable

2. We understand that timing and tone are key to expressing our emotions—people see that we are honest at the right time and place.

How do we build this skill?

1. Ask for constructive feedback from trustworthy people (be aware that not everyone in your business or professional circles are trustworthy).

2. Many executives participate in organized private groups that offer advice about running their businesses and improving their awareness.

3. Practice mindfulness. Always be attentive regarding what you say and do.

4. Try to engage in positive self-talk rather than constant self-criticism for mistakes. Analyzing our mistakes can offer great insight.

5. Think about growth: New skills, new techniques, new ideas, innovation.  It will open you up to better understand who you are.

Self-Regulation

At the heart of self-regulation is the ability to recognize your emotions, their potential impact on others if inappropriately expressed and the need to regulate and manage them.  Regulating your emotions is not the same as ignoring them. They are critical to understanding ourselves. The issue of self-regulation is how to appropriately express your feelings.

How does regulating your emotions help executive presence?

1. We demonstrate flexibility and willingness to change

2. We are thoughtful (and therefore restrained) on how our behavior can negatively impact others

3. We show our ability to manage tense or difficult situations

How do we build this skill?

1. As with self-awareness, be mindful of your thoughts and feelings

2. Practice communication skills. What you think you communication may not be the message received.

Internal Motivation

We tend to believe that we know precisely what motivates us. Probably less accurate than our true motivators. Executive level motivation is most commonly thought to be about money, status and power. But is that your motivation? What really gets you up in the morning, eager to engage, and resist falling asleep because you have more ideas?  For many, sadly, they are motivated by fear of failure, greed, and the inability to achieve their dreams and goals. And then, many are driven by goodness, charity and equality. They seek a better world for more opportunities for their businesses and the world in general (the basic needs of people: food, work opportunities, health, shelter).  Others just want to be liked or loved or respected.

How does understanding your Internal Motivation help executive presence?

1. It allows you to look at others to see what (actually, not theoretically) motivates them.

2. It then provides you with a framework to develop a happier and more cohesive workforce.

3. It offers the opportunity to build better consensus.

How do we build this skill?

1. Spend time searching for moments of deep satisfaction. Why are they satisfying? What allowed you (motivated you) to achieve it?

2. Try as hard as possible to consider things that motivate you without external rewards such as money and status.

3. How does your sense of family relationships impact your motivation?

4. Consider how you would feel generally uplifted at the end of a day.

Empathy

Simply put, empathy is the ability to understand how another person feels and to put yourself in a position to see things from that person’s perspective.  It can be the same as your perspective, but that is not typical. Critical for success is your awareness of differences between people as well as their commonalities.

How does demonstrating Empathy help executive presence?

1. You recognize how people’s misunderstood feelings impact their behaviors.

2. You notice a pattern of power dynamics in your groups, divisions, committees and teams based on lack of empathy.

3. You demonstrate by your actions that you are empathic and, by those actions, encourage others to behave accordingly.

How do we build this skill?

1. If you want to understand others’ feelings (e.g. put them in a vulnerable position) then you must first be vulnerable by sharing your own feelings.

2. Listen to what people tell you.  Watch their body language.  Think about the multiple meanings of words.

3. Do NOT judge.

4. Find commonality – perhaps a work or charitable project for you and the person with whom you are trying to build empathy. Imagine how it would feel when people are not empathic to your situation.

Social Skills

We learned most of our social skills, and those of others, in early pre-kindergarten through grammar school.  We always knew the nice children, the tattle-tells, the bullies, the “popular” ones and then, everyone else. We saw false leadership and true leadership.

How does developing social skills help Executive Presence?

1. The result of a lifetime’s mastery of social skills enables us to know what to say, to whom, when, and where. 

2. Different communication styles and techniques are needed to communicate across industries, societal norms, personality types and educational levels.

How do we build these skills?

1. Understanding our audience(s)

2. Focusing our communication on the recipients’ interests

3. Remember what we learned in grammar school

Summary

Executive presence is how others would describe us based on their perception of us.

• Are we authentic?

• Do we mean what we say?

• Do others feel heard and understood?

• Do we have a clear vision and the ability to articulate it?

• Do others feel they share our vision and can trust us to have their backs as we work to fulfill our objectives?

• Are we willing to change when appropriate?

• Do we know how to share successes collectively and give accolades to only the deserving?

• Do we know that “constructive criticism” can only discussed in private and with suggestions for changes/improvements?

• Do we stand tall (not a height issue), confidently and happily when we walk into a room?

• Do others believe in us by our demonstrated words and behaviors?

The O’Henry story “The Man about Town” describes an individual who eagerly wanted to learn what it meant to be a “man about town.”  He spent many of his days, years and decades talking to various people about the meaning of that phase. When he died, his obituary read, “He was a man about town.”

Susan Sneider

Founder and Principal, New Vistas Consulting

Advisory Board Member, Ready Set GC